Barry excited

Devi just gave me a ticket to go see Dave Barry tomorrow night. I am excited, excited, excited.
There's a good chance I'll start acting like a mad groupie, too. His columns used to be what got me into the newspaper.

I tried to sneak out of work early today, but L. came around the corner just as I was leaving, keys and ticket in hand. To cover, I told her that I was going to pick up an Advocate. (Lots of good stuff this week. None of it written by me.) So she decides to come with. What can I do? Nothing. So we walk together to Walker, and run into a certain SGA president who was recently involved in some shady courtroom dealings. He stopped L. to ask about press and as they were talking, I looked down at my ticket and realized there was writing on it.
"It was
an old bike
glkfjtkajo
it's in the shop
now
my mechanic
said you'd
be lucky to
get it to 70."

I had read that somewhere earlier, I realized.
And then it clicked.
That was SGA president's quote. Devi must have bumped into him and grabbed the first thing she could write on--the ticket.

And I was reading it right in front of him.

Men's magazines

In this month's Esquire, there's a whole section devoted to what men don't know about women. One section is comprised entirely of things that women wrote in.
My favorites:

2. Single men who love cats should be neutered, too.
3. When every single one of Liz Phair's songs reminds us of you, you're in big trouble.
18. It's cute when you make us a mix CD. It's not cute to include anything by Journey, Richard Marx or Eminem.
25. Your Game Boy/Playstation/Xbox obsession? It makes our shopping habit look like a nobler pursuit than peace in the Middle East.
27. The world would be a much better place if more men wore eyeliner a la Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Carribbean.
45. Your knowledge of and ability to use a washboard is far more important than having abs that resemble one.
48. It's all in the details, not in the grand gestures.

But the best one?
39. Raise your criteria beyond our faces and figures and we'll raise ours beyond your bank account.

One of the things I love most about my internship is the coffee station. I come in every day at 2, right in the middle of the slump of the day. I always drink two cups of coffee in the two hours that I work.
Because it's the president's office, they don't just have generic Folgers' brewing. It's some kind of good brand, usually flavored. The creamers are arranged just so in circles on a crystal plate. It's an inviting place, a spot straight out of heaven.
I just went in to get my second cup of Irish Cream, and had to wait behind a woman who also craved the pseudo-alcohol flavoring. I watched as she poured her cup, added two sugars and French Vanilla Coffeemate.
I wanted to gag.
I'm a coffee purist, people. I don't mix flavors. Irish Cream coffee and French Vanilla creamer? !!! What does that taste like? My guess is Chunnel Leak.
Ugh.

I'll stop soon, I promise

He thinks about their flowing hair,
Their games, their grace, their style.
He deliberates how to better make
His way into their smiles.
While catching curves,
He’ll observe,
The measure of their taunts.
And though he reaches ever on,
He’s just the Don of Want.




I blame too much Dorothy Parker and a cynical outlook for the compulsion to foist my really bad poetry on all y'all. If you hate it, I welcome your bitter words. As long as you welcome the possibility of a bad poem about you.

On it goes

He thinks of girls
about as much,
As I don't think
about my clutch.

from the thicket

we could hardly bare the premonition
our whole lives plagued with indecision
insipid little bumbling beaus
causing only greater woes
"enough" we cried
& up & died.

an ode to my lovelife

Between trucker hats
That roll their eyes,
And a green mohawk
Who's far too shy,
And friends who just
Can't learn to be wise,

I think that I am
done with guys.

Blegh

Cough...gasp...weeze...cough, cough, cough...

You know how it goes.

Will I never get too old to want my mom when I'm sick?

It's so hot right now

i am: sure i have a weird ecuadorian throat disease
i want: to live in india among the people
i have: a talking turtle that makes me giggle
i wish: our ants would go away
i hate: that i settle for less
i wonder: if i will fall in love
i love: that my tummy is always tan
i always: lose my keys
i am not: a cleanie
i dance: naked when i'm home alone
i sing: with gusto
i cry: silently and sometimes without tears
i am not always: reliable
i write: as a means of catharsis
i win: when money's at stake
i lose: at yahtzee
i confuse: friendliness with flirtation
i need: some new running shoes
i should: be writing a press release
i dream: about redecorating the hege's house with ty pennington

**apologies to hollis and chuqi. But I know it's good if I steal it.
----------------

Philly Diaries will soon be continued. I know you're on the edge of your seat.

The Philly Diaries, Part I

Monday: Wake up at 5:30. Too excited to sleep anymore. Finish packing and board the plane to Memphis. After landing in Memphis, stop for food at Budweiser Cafe--the only place in the whole airport that's lung cancer friendly. Sit next to two Irish businessmen on one side, their voices lilting as they watch Sportscenter, and four Japanese chainsmoking business types.
The Japanese all wore gray suits, brown tasseled loafers and white socks. One asked me how old I was. I signaled for the check and got out. You never know when you're about to be propositioned.
When I boarded the plane to Philly, I waited in my aisle seat for the people who were going to make me have to stand up. (Aside: Why don't they board planes by proximity to window? Seems like there might be less waiting on the woman who HAD to bring her clearly oversized carry-on to get it stuffed in the overhead bin.) They came and the first things they said was, "You're so lucky! You get to sit by a baby. We're sorry in advance." I determined at that moment not to be one of those people who complain about babies. Purely in the interest of karma, I think. Luckily, the baby, Connor, was a cutie, relatively quiet, who flirted with all the women sitting in the immediate area.

Other things I should point out from the flight:
Men who carry combs in back pockets should not be trusted and will graze your shoulder at any possible opp.
Northwest only stocks its 53-passenger planes with 12 meals, then tells the entire cabin that they're selling meal for $5.
A stewardess who looks like Tammy Faye Bakker is going to sound like Tammy Faye Bakker.
I learned a lot.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After I arrived, Lisa got there, we got the luggage, etc. Lisa's brother, Bryan drove his new (to him) Saab. We chucked the luggage in the back and I'm pretty sure I didn't have time to look back. Bryan is the kind of driver for whom stop signs are negotiable, who determines his driving speed by looking at the signs and doubling the "suggested" posting, who peels out when no one's racing alongside.
Once I learned to let go, it was fun.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tuesday: FIVE INCHES OF SNOW!!! And what amazed me the most? That everyone on the block has a snowblower. It speaks of my Tulsa upbringing that I had never seen one before. At this point, we wimpy Oklahomans would have been stockpiling canned goods, but the Hege's block looks like a Norman Rockwell painting. Kids are sledding. Fathers are clearing their sidewalks. The thicket is shoveling out Pippi.
We went to see "Secret Window." Fairly good. Three stars. Not Depp's best part, although that still leaves him ahead. For the record, I guessed a major portion of the plot 20 minutes into the movie.

Watch out!

You have a surprise kiss! Your partner is always
pleasantly pleased to have you jump outta no
where to dote them with a fun peck on the cheek
or more passionate embrace. super markets and
work places are your favorite places to attack
your loved one with all your love =p


What kind of kiss are you?
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Sixes are a whole bunch of words; harmony,
friendship, family life, loyal, reliable,
loving, and you adapt easily. You do well in
teaching and the arts, but are often
unsuccessful in business. You are prone to
gossip and complacency. The Pythagoreans
regarded six as the perfect number because of
lots of math things; six is divisible by both
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Tarzan!


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You are CLARISSA EXPLAINS IT ALL. She is a rad
chick with absolutely no fashion sense.

Lawd, Hep us all...

It's only too true.

You're Chile!

You're really skinny, and kind of bumpy in frame, but you're not as
rough a person as you used to be.  You like long, long, long walks on the beach and
avoiding having your rights violated, just like anybody else does.  You're even
willing to stand up to those with more power and influence than you, trying to bring them
to justice.  Fight the man!
Take
the Country Quiz at the href="http://bluepyramid.org">Blue Pyramid

I used to care.
I would watch the news just to be aware of atrocities.
I'd pray when I heard a siren, trying to intercede for those who were hurt.

Now, when I read the headlines, it's to be aware and appear educated.
When an ambulence drives past, I'm slighty elated when I don't have to pull over.

I used to care. Now I'm consumed with self. What will I do tomorrow? What will I do today? How good did I do? I'm never good enough. What will I eat? Where will I sleep? What about me, God? What about me?

I'm so saturated in myself that I'm starting to stink. Maybe, like body odor, everyone else realized it before I did.

And now, I just say, "OUT!" No more fear. No doubts. No recriminations.
I am who I am.
Created for a purpose. My faults, my gifts all lead to one thing:
The Glory of God.

I don't understand it, either.

Oh, God, that you would grant me a lighter burden than myself.
Weigh me down with the cares of the needy. Deliver me from self.

Grant me the gift of insignificance.

THIS JUST IN

SILOAM SPRINGS, ARK.--Thousands thronged to the campus of John Brown University Sunday night to gather in protest.
The crowd began forming soon after Devi Abraham, Amy Harbottle and Liz Dodson announced via the internet that they would discontinue their web logs or "blogs."
All three cited a lack "time management" or "wanting to get out in the real world" as their reasons for ceasing to make new entries.
Abraham's blog stated that it would be deleted within the week.
Several members of the crowd carried signs that said, simply, "WTF?". The phrase was believed to be taken from a comments post made by Kevin Cole, a longtime friend of Abraham. Cole, a frequent blogger posted Sunday Abraham's comments, "WTF NOOOOOO!!!! At the very least keep it!"
Other signs said "Keep the Clean Clothes on the Floor" and "Yes, I recognize you!!!"
Police officers did nothing to stop the crowd as it began to march towads "Maranatha Tower" or when it began its 5-hour candlelight vigil.
Even some of the school's administration got involved, passing out candles from the school's cathedral.
"I can think of no better purpose for [the candles]," campus pastor Stan McKinnon said. "Any other use just wouldn't feel as spiritual."
Steve Beers, JBU's vice president of student development, said, "Reading [the blogs] was the highlight of my day. I guess I'll actually have to work now."
The crowd finally faded away at 6:00 this morning, but not without hope.
"I know they'll be back," a student said, "but right now, I really miss reading songs about clean clothes or knowing what George Clooney is up to."